Global .Wav | Oh God, Why

Romania, 2010 – There are few women out there who believe with all of their might that they’re capable of singing like a legendary R&B chanteuse. Catalina Toma from Romania is one of these people. Her song, “Why…My Lord,” is highly problematic and a contender for “Sluttiest Christian Pop Video of the Year Award”.

But then again, where does it say in The Bible that you can’t sing about God while flirtatiously exposing your tramp stamp? I digress.

Is it her butt crack, partially wrapped in a metallic floor-length skirt with matching bikini top, or her other hilarious styling notes (like a transparent, sequined skull cap, or a lime green twisted du-rag) that inspire morbid fascination? Or, is it the fact that her song—sung entirely in garbled English—is the definitive parody of a late ’90s R&B hit? Needless to say, Catalina needs a major reality check: something harsh. A royal ass-spanking by Mary J. Blige in her own museum of white fog is the antidote Catalina secretly craves. Dear “Lord”…if only.

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