The birth of baby West-Kardashian has rumors swirling around like pastel leaves in a Pocahontas wind fantasy. One thing’s for sure, though: the couple received some totally rad congratulatory swag. Below is an extremely real list of the very best corporate gifts
Mother Kardashian and Father West received to kick-off the controversial and overly documented childhood young North West is sure to have.

Illustration by Heather Pieske

1.
Giver: Gwyneth Paltrow
housewarming gifts for men: Tiffany & Co. Vegan Glitter Wand with Retractable Tempurpedic Tofu Mattress. This Leed-certified glitter wand soothes your baby’s hands after a long day of chopping fennel with just a wave of its magic. Now featuring a retractable and fully edible mattress for post-cooking siestas.
Message on Greeting Card: “Watch the crib!” Because God, she’s square. She really would write that.

2.
Giver: Ricardo Tisci
Gift: Gold-plated gold plate. This gold plate is made of 24 karat gold and plated with 24 karat gold.
Message: “Givenchy fitting like gym clothes.”

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