Shoulder Dysmorphia

Bone up on shoulder silhouettes for Spring 2010.

It is no small secret that an elite handful of homosexual men are responsible for the self-esteem of millions of women worldwide. The ever-expanding exacerbation of shoulder silhouettes in women's ready-to-wear will not only continue on its grotesque path into the grim future, but consumer anxieties over natural shoulder inadequacy will skyrocket, forcing women to undergo startling new surgical procedures, season to season, in order to keep up with the newest designer shapes. Bone up (literally) on shoulder dysmorphia for Spring/Summer 2010.

Concave curvature, courtesy of Rick Owens.

No need to feel bleak in the face of Balmain-ia; simply broaden your bones with a built-in bonus procedure.

Cadaverous McQueen configurations come custom with cartilage collarbone extensions.

Grind down shoulder blades for a gaunt Givenchy guise.

Get the Lanvin look for life, with an auxiliary bone ruffle implant.

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