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DIS week: Problems and (Unrelated) Solutions

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If we learned anything from the Grammys this week, it’s that life has its fair share of ups and downs, justices and injustices, excitements and upsets. While there are some things we just can’t change, when you channel the spirit of Joe Biden, you will soon realize that there lies at least a somewhat reasonable solution underneath it all… 

biden-state-of-the-union

Problem: Pizza

World: Hey, New York Times! How do you feel about me ordering pizza for dinner tonight?

NYTimes: …meh.

World: But, like, everyone loves Pizza…

NYTimes: Yeahhhhhhhh, no. It’s meh.

World: What the f*ck is wrong with you?

24sixthfloor-pizza-tmagArticle

Solution: Tacos, Art, & Free Refills –  Debatably, the only thing better than pizza are tacos – a fact that the brilliant minds behind the American landmark that is the Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell know true and well. While there are only 4 of these godsent stores in Manhattan, only 1 is #lavish enough to host the weekly meetings of the Taco Bell Drawing Club. Meetings are open to the public, and Taco Bell offers free refills, which in itself should be good enough a reason to attend.

TBDC grid

Problem: Kids – Parents, I know kids #suck and life is #hard and we all have our own #problems, but can you please just remember to control your kids? Especially around sculptures that are worth around $10 million?

 Solution: Child Leashes – They were invented for a reason.  Unless you’re not about that life, which in that case here’s a petition for you to sign. 


(Whitegirl)Problem: Yoga & Black Girls – Once upon a time, a skinny white girl went to yoga. Much to her surprise and/or dismay, a “heavyset black woman” also attended this same yoga class. What transpired next was an hour of self-aggrandizement and self-inflicted hostility worthy of a Girls episode, which ended in said white girl returning home and crying. Oh white girls, you have so many problems…

 

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Solution: Vin Diesel – If you don’t already follow Vin Diesel on Facebook, I ask you kindly to take a quick break from reading DISweek, slap yourself in the face, and proceed to do so. Here, I’ll even give you the link right here: Vin Diesel’s Facebook Fan Page. “But whyyyyyyyyy?” you complain. “What does this have to do with annyyythinggg???”  This is why:   

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