DIS week: Less Art, More Basil

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Are you having like the *best* time at Art Basel? I bet you totes are. This is what was going on everywhere else but Miami:

Sex, Drugs & The Chosen Ones: Esquire says that we should all not sleep, have more sex, and take more drugs because thats what all the smart people do anyways. Right. Because I love taking advice that sounds like it came from the same creepy guys who yell at me while I walk down the street at 10am. On a Tuesday. Yes. Also how stupid is this picture, I know, but I took it right from the article so it really isn’t my fault.

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A Brain For Your Boobs: Watch out, Victoria’s Secret: Microsoft is said to be developing a ‘Smart Bra’. Smart Bra, you ask? Yes, indeed, a ‘Smart Bra’. The Smart Bra is said to measure the user’s emotional state via sensors that detect heart rate, respiration, and movement to measure your overall health venus factor reviews . (Translation: It will tell you to stop eating when you’re feeling fat). So I ask you all: 10/10 would you wear? Or would you totally not wear? Let me know.

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22 Days a Vegan: Our lord and savior, Jay-Z & Beyoncé, have pledged to go vegan for 22 days because of witchcraft or something like that. More specifically…

“Why now? There’s something spiritual to me about it being my 44th birthday and the serendipity behind the number of days in this challenge; 22 (2+2=4) coupled with the fact that the challenge ends on Christmas day…It just feels right!”

See, told you – witchcraft. Anyways, best of luck to both of them, as the last time I tried to go vegan I lasted 20 minutes. Did you guys know that Animals are in EVERYTHING?! Vegan is soooooo the new gluten.

Space Basil: NASA announced that starting in 2015, they will begin growing basil and turnips on the moon. Scientists believe that if they are successful in maintaining plant life on the moon, they may be one step closer to the possibility of hosting human life on the moon as well. Hopefully you guys are half as excited as I am because all of my crazy dreams spurred by my recent divulgence into Battlestar Galactica are en route to becoming an achieveable reality and I just love space so much so really this is very emotional for me excuse me for a second please thank you. 

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Coming Out/Diving In: Tom Daley came out earlier this week and no one was surprised about it at all. Honestly though, this was the least surprising coming out announcement after Clay Aiken, but obviously, obviously, kudos to you, Tom. Best of luck to the happy couple! And to all the other girls and gays in the world: sry bbs. The video is super cute though tbth.

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#FF: If you should know two things about me, it is that 1) I love American Boys and 2) I love fish so you can imagine the ecstasy that was coming across Guys Holding Fish on Tinder. Shoutout to you, creator of Guys Holding Fish on Tinder. Keep on keeping on.

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Consumerism: Lauryn Hill has released a lyric video for her new single, Consumerism. Be sure to post it alongside your tirade against the holiday season on Facebook! But no, seriously, check it out it’s a great song. Is there any better feeling than fighting the man? You tell me.

 

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