Nina Cristante is an artist, autodidactic nutritionist, Aquarius and my best friend. Had it not been for a mutual friend linking us during her temporary stay in NYC seven months back, I may’ve never been introduced to the full spectrum of her work. Just a subtle trail of digital breadcrumbs. Slow-mo-promo. A whisper, a wink, a bikini body meme. A deliberately ambiguous website hosting austere at-home workout videos and fragments of clients’ food diaries.
Listening to Jamaican female MCs nowadays is like being pounded with a steel handbag. The violence of their vocals is real, and like most Jamaicans, they don’t give a fuck. This video is a dream duet between two such MCs, Spice and Pamputtae called Slim vs. Fluffy. And although the song is surprsingly about weight, slim vs. fat (fluffy)–a subject denigrating to women, this video inadvertently chills the heated issue with a pride-heavy sparring match.
The video battle between Slim and Fluffy girls–I’ll confess I’m partial to Fluffy–presents animated fantasy magazine covers, workout competitions, Broadway-style lights, matching glittery desses and boxing matches dedicated to “can’t do” combat zones. Pamputtae declares, “Me fat, but you can’t wine you waist like me.” Spice retorts, “Me slim, so a me have up di betta winery!” I pray for a Style Wines–instead of Wars–video where these statements appear as competition categories. The stylistic elements of the video, however varied, are completely overshadowed by the volcanic energy of the MCs, which is what really shines. Even though the random Chinese type and slogans on the Slim Girls Magazine cover is pretty amazing, Fluffy Girls mag with it’s “Fluffy Fashion” section wins my personal editorial prize. Pamputtae rules, ending the video when her iron booty culminates in the literal downfall of a Slim Boy. Where can I get a subscription?